Heat of the Moment

How to survive tiffs with your partner

Tensions may run high but there are ways to keep calm and quell the fire.
Art + Commerce

You've already planned a wedding together, so you're probably well past your first argument. But even if you and your new husband are the world's most easygoing couple, you're bound to argue sooner or later.

It's normal--dare we say, even healthy--to have disagreements.

The key is developing positive, rather than destructive, diplomacy skills. They'll guide your marriage through just about any rough patch.

No one wins. When it comes to resolving an argument, don't focus on who's right and who's wrong. Most times, (sorry girls) no one is entirely right. You're in this for the long haul (remember?) so your aim is not to prove him wrong but to identify how can you move forward to make sure this flare-up won't happen again. Always acknowledge your part in the conflict. Then, move on to making a compromise that both of you can live with.

Ban cruel and unusual argument tactics. We've all been in scenarios where we're not talking to one another and we all know the silent treatment doesn't work. Neither do guilt trips, insults and or harping on a bevy of complaints that have been building up over the past six months that have nothing to do with the argument on the table. Low-blow tactics don't just infuriate your partner, they muddy the situation at hand and make it even harder to resolve.

Cool down. This is the most important rule-of-thumb for any disagreement. Never, ever try to resolve it while you're seething. It's like pouring gasoline on a fire. You'll both say something nasty that will hurt each other and then you'll regret it. Instead, discuss problems only when you're calm and thinking logically and clearly.

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